Thursday, June 27, 2013

Does your Mood Rob Others of Enjoyment?

Birthdays....They mark the passing of time.  I celebrated my birthday a couple weeks ago.  I secretly look forward to my birthday.  Not because of the parties or gifts as I did as a child, but because now I usually can  do what I want, when I want.  It's a luxury as a Mom.  Not this year.  I quickly realized that laser tag is not my thing.  I'm way too girly and shooting weapons is out of my league.  My daughter's volleyball team had a party that day and so I joyfully participated.  After the party, I made my husband promise he would never make me play laser tag again.

However, earlier this week was a birthday I look forward to celebrate for totally different reasons.  Daughter #3 turned 14!  It marked the birth of my fourth child and the day God sent me a blessing from heaven!  I know my children count days until their birthdays.  They make birthday lists a mile long.  They begin planning their birthday parties six months in advance.  However, what they don't realize is that a child's birthday means more to a mom than they they know.

A child's birthday represents all the years of love in one day.  I missed my birthday girl all day.  She served the Lord all day by siding a local family's house with other teenagers from our church.  My heart tingled with pride as I knew she was doing God's work.  However, I missed hugging her and seeing her on the day reserved for me to love on her.

Then I finally saw her.  I know I had a goofy smile on my face.   It was mid afternoon as she was at church for her mission work, but it was as if the day had just started.  But it ended as quickly as it started. We had a disagreement which altered the rest of the day and evening.  Her goal may have been to punish me.  If that was her goal, it worked.

I felt as if I was robbed of her birthday.  My heart felt broken and my eyes wouldn't stop filling with tears.   I then realized how I probably robbed my mother of enjoying my birthday.  Then there have been other days when I have robbed others of enjoying different occasions due to my cranky mood or inappropriate responses.  I could have robbed my daughter of enjoying her birthday yesterday.  I'm not going to say that I was innocent.  I was being selfish.  So I realized that our days aren't just our days to be happy.  We can't "make" anyone else happy.  However, God made us to be relational creatures.  He made us to need other people and have others in our lives.  So when I was moody or having a bad day, I didn't realize how it could rub off on others or influence how it might affect the occasion. I just thought I would be the only one who wouldn't enjoy the day. Whereas, the others could have been looking forward to the gathering for months and then disappointed just because I let my selfishness interfere.

I believe we sometimes selfishly act out and let our moodiness control us.  If we want attention, why not be the communicative beings God created us.  Ask for help.  Ask for comfort.  Ask for a hug.  Let others know your feelings.  It will open dialogue and clear the air.  It could be just an "I'm sorry I'm not myself today.  It's been a rough day."  No details necessary.  I think we'd be amazed at the healing power of admitting that today hasn't been our day.  So, here goes.....this week has not been my week.  My heart has been broken.  I know God is using this time of weakness to strengthen me for His good.  I pray that I see His purpose and find peace.


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