Sunday, March 24, 2013

Proud to be my Mother's Daughter

Last week, my Mom met Jesus!  Her earthly body finally found peace.  She received a diagnosis of interstitial lung disease in fall of 2008.  At that time, the doctors communicated that this disease is not curable and has a typical life expectancy of five years.  So she knew and we knew that from both doctors and her symptoms that her condition was deteriorating.  However, we had no idea that the end was so imminent.

Her comfort level declined over the past week, but we were able to get her some medication to ease her breathing discomfort to the point that she was doing better or so we thought.  She began the medication on Thursday evening and she was doing better until Sunday.  My sister and Mom still didn't believe it was the end, but I was making plans to come for a quick visit.  Monday morning, I spoke with my Mom for the last time.  I told her I wanted her to know that I loved her and that I was so proud to call her Mom.  

Air travel and Chicago traffic did not cooperate.  I arrived too late. I praise God for not letting my mom suffer more than she did.  She must have suffered more than she ever shared.   My mom showed me how to be strong and independent until the end.  I wish she would have asked for more help throughout the course of her  illness to ease her pain but she didn't want to be a bother.  Easing pain and suffering of a loved one is never a bother. 

I admit.  I am my mother's daughter.   I rarely ask for help and pride myself on my independence.  I try and instill that trait in my children.  Even this week, I have apologized to my husband numerous times for having him help me do things while I have been away due to my mother's death.  He loves me.  I love him.  I am not a bother.  I shouldn't cheat him out if loving me. 

The sweetest love I experienced was the love of my children.  They showered their love on me.  I so needed it and they shared it.  They gave up their spring break and traveled the country for me and their grandma without complaining (to me).  They texted me unsolicited love notes.  They gave me unsolicited hugs.  

I miss my Mom.  I didn't talk to her everyday, but I loved her.  I am comforted knowing that she can finally live her dream freely in heaven.   It doesn't ease the sadness of my heart.  

On the way to the airport to drop my oldest daughter off to return to college, I found a Christian radio station.  The song that came on was "I Can Only Imagine" my MercyMe.  It was a perfect song at the perfect time.  My Mom doesn't have to imagine any more.  She knows exactly what it's like to walk by Jesus's side and see him face to face.  It's my Mom's reality!  Love you Mom!

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